Idle

I wanted to wrap this post in riddles and rhymes, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm way too tired tonight.

I'm on academic probation for my 1.8 gpa. I feel very, very stupid. I have to attend Success Planning sessions. It's fucking embarrassing. At least I learned from this.

Friends. Old. New. What can you say that hasn't been said? I love some of my friends with all of my heart. I feel that in 5 years I could still share a great conversation or laugh with them. In accordance, I feel like I will still be on a talking basis with them. I'm always open to new friends and situations, but everyone seems to think that means you have to delete all your old friends and memories. It doesn't. There is room for everyone that you want there to be room for. The sooner you learn that, the sooner you can deal with the ever-changing situation that life presents.

I'm excited about New Year's resolutions and the person I have become/becoming. There is still stuff that needs working on, but I think I've come a long way already. I never want to stop caring. I always want to improve and learn. I always want to be there.

I often think about people who have never loved. I feel like those people are missing out. Conversely, I feel like people who love and lose miss out because they know how amazing it is to have someone. So I pose this query to you: is it better to have loved and lost or never to have loved at all?

I write.
I wrap myself up.
I self-medicate.
I let her calls ring.
I think too much.
I worry.
I remember.
I play.
I fake it.
I laugh.
And when it comes down to it, I'd want those times back, just so I could do it all over again.